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A japanese song I wrote..

Started by EnthroneDespair, January 05, 2008, 12:21:57 AM

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Yumeko

not bad.  There's parts I like and parts I think could use some improvement.  For one; there are too many instrumental breaks in my opinion.  The beginning was nice; but stretched on too long.  I know some jrock songs will have a short intro sung and then another instrumental break; but even taking into account you might have been going for that; I still think there should be more singing.  I also think there should be a clear chorus.  It's hard to get into a song that doesn't really feel like a song or that it got started.

I tend to think of some songs like a paper.  You have your intro, body, and then conclusion.  Perhaps a better analogy is a story.  Intro, body, climax, conclusion.  Also, as I learned in Japanese; Japanese art, especially among other things, tends to build up as it nears the end.  Of course this rule doesn't apply to all songs; but I think it's especially true in many songs and movies from Japan.  Your song does sound jrock like.  I get of sense of something like Moi Dix Mois when Juka was still in the group.  I like one MDM; but my biggest complaint about them is the heavy drums.  Too much drums seems more like noise instead of a compliment to the music.  For example; because of the drums; I could barely hear the guitar and singing in your song. 

Anywho, good start; it's better than I could pull together right now.  I'm curious tho; what program did you use?
drawing by me...

EnthroneDespair

Yeah I agree with a lot of what you're saying. I kind of wanted this to be more of an intro song to an album, and I just added more on as I recorded. I also still have to record all of the bass and redo and add more vocals. Haha, i'm mostly a guitarist, so I tend to overwhelm the writing process with guitars as the melody instead of the vocals. But I guess I'm somewhat happy with it..we'll see how it turns out  :)

And I'm using Sonar 7 pro edition for the tracking. The drums are midi with a vst plugin called toontrack ezdrummer: drumkit from hell (I love European metal xD). Annnd I use various other plugins like ozone and edirol virtual orchestra.

Thanks for the first comment by the way  ;D

Yumeko

ah no problem ^_^.  I hope I wasn't harsh or anything.  I wanted to offer some constructive criticism but I wasn't sure if you actually wanted it or not.

I've always wanted to write my own song and I've tried.  But I don't have the program for it.  I wish there was something where I could scroll through a library of sound clips or instruments or drum beats and plug stuff together or compose; like with midis; but I don't know what programs to use.  And I can't play guitar; I play saxophone and it's been yeeeears.  Mostly I like to write lyrics and a melody.  But it's be wonderful to compose something entirely.
drawing by me...

EnthroneDespair

nah it's okay ^_^ have you ever tried to use fruity loops? you can download a free version of it and it's got tons of instruments you can use to make your own loops and stuff. It's kind of confusing to figure out at first..but i still kinda like it.

You can download it here:

http://www.tucows.com/preview/209204

Yumeko

ah thanks I'll have to try it ^___^
drawing by me...

residentevilrulz

I've been really into music making for some time now. I use Fruity Loops 7. My friend and I have a band... I really wanted to show some of my music on here to the industrial/techno fans like myself.. but I am not allowed to because of site restrictions. That makes me sad

MY BABY DADDAY P-GWIDDLES

Quote from: residentevilrulz on January 05, 2008, 05:49:11 PM
I've been really into music making for some time now. I use Fruity Loops 7. My friend and I have a band... I really wanted to show some of my music on here to the industrial/techno fans like myself.. but I am not allowed to because of site restrictions. That makes me sad
Post it anyway, nobody cares about site restrictions anymore.
"vk is a fucking dead fad" - signal to noise

residentevilrulz

lol, last time I checked they did. I started this whole war back in like.. July or June because I posted music from German bands. My argument for this was the only restrictions were "No American Music". I won the argument and got the rules changed ^_^

凸(。☉౪ ⊙。)▁▇▀▀▀~~~卍

no LOL u actually lost, the rules changed to no german too.
ramrod - Man of ur wetdreams

residentevilrulz

What I meant by I won was that I got the rules changed and caused a problem. It was kind of the intention if I remember correctly. Don't know if you consider that winning or not but what evs. How've you been anyhow? I haven't talked to you in a while